Hey there, friend. If your wedding day is coming up at lightning speed and you feel like you’re going to scream if you see another suggested article on “25 things every bride forgets,” or if another person tells you to “just relax” when you have approximately 7 million things to do, or if your engagement has been stressful af and you feel like you might be an awful person for not being happier and more excited about your upcoming wedding, then this little corner of the internet is for you. To breathe: to take a deep, long breath in and expel all the wedding B.S. that has been accumulating in your brain over the past few months/weeks/years. Because there is a lot of wedding B.S. out there.
The joke everyone always makes when they learn I’m a wedding photographer is, “Oof, I bet you have worked with a lot of bridezillas!” and I always tell them this: I’ve never met a bridezilla, I’ve just met stressed out brides who feel like no one gets it. It’s true; people aren’t looking to be monsters on their wedding day, in fact, mostly, they just want everything to go well. There are so many jokes and good natured ribs about being a bridezilla that we’ve absorbed over the years that many brides I’ve met feel like they can’t express anything other than happiness & excitement without coming off as a monster bride, and they struggle with their more complicated emotions alone. Which is, you know, lonely.
So I’m going to tell you something that I desperately wished somebody had told me during my engagement: it’s okay to be stressed, burnt-out, sad, nervous, frustrated, irritated, or lonely. You can be all of these things at different times on your wedding day and during your engagement, and still be an awesome bride with a wonderful wedding. It’s totally normal and somewhat unavoidable. Stuff will go wrong, you’ll get stressed, and that doesn’t mean that you’ve ruined anything.
In the midst of all this internal and external pressure to be the “perfect” bride (perfectly beautiful, perfectly chill, perfectly organized, perfectly fun, perfectly stylish… geesh. You exhausted yet?), it’s of the utmost importance to embrace yourself as you are. You have to determinedly enjoy the fact that on your wedding day: you’re still going to be you, and this is a cause for celebration. Because your almost-spouse doesn’t want to marry you because you’re the perfect bride, they want to marry you because you’re fantastic at being you, and they’re all about it.
Embodying something other than manicured perfection & happiness doesn’t mean you’re a bridezilla, it just means you’re a human with a range of complex emotions (which in most contexts, is generally regarded as a positive trait). Cut yourself a bit of slack, and give yourself the emotional latitude, patience, and kindness you’d give others during this weird, stressful, amazing time. You’re allowed to have some emotional bandwidth on your wedding day, just like every other day of your life. Give yourself the space to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, let those feelings have their minute, talk them out with another human if you need to. Finally, realize they’re not going to ruin anything (much less this celebration of your love you’ve been working on) and they certainly can’t ruin who you are at your core, which is what really matters.
P.S. Log out of Pinterest. You’re doing awesome.