Hello hello my friends! I’ve been to a lot of weddings by now, and seen a lot of wedding dresses. I also happen to be a nerd about dresses in general, so I wanted to compile all the tidbits I wish someone had told me before I started wedding dress shopping. There are no sales pitches, sponsored ads, or floofy ideas in here. Just some useful advice and things to keep in mind while on the quest.

Wedding Gown Shopping Tips

Try out some dance moves in it (no, really, try some!)

Find a dress you love the look of? Try out some twirls, some shimmies, see how it feels. Of course, everybody tells you to make sure you can sit in the wedding dresses you try on. But does anyone ever tell you to dance in it? Well, I think you should. One, because the right dress will make you want to dance because you’ll feel like a magical fairy, and secondly, because that’s the real test of how comfortable it’s gonna be. If you can’t bust your favorite moves in it: look elsewhere. You may be thinking “well, yeah, it’s tight, and I can’t move my arms above my head, but it feels ok right now!” And yes, it may feel do-able now, but after 9 hours of wearing that dress, what seems ok is gonna be driving you crazy. So pick something COMFY. And I’m putting comfy in all caps because I think it’s that important.

Prioritize a wedding dress that's care-free.

What I mean by care-free is a dress that doesn’t require a lot of fuss-budgeting. Look for a dress that won’t require you to be adjusting the neckline, pulling it up or down, or straightening your skirt or your train every few seconds. You want your wedding dress to feel like a natural extension of you, and you definitely don’t want to be worrying about what it looks like all the time during your wedding day, so be sure to pick something that once it’s on: it’s on! No fuss-budgeting or mental maintainence required. If you’re shimmying, tucking, adjusting, or straightening a lot in the changing room, some of those issues can be solved with tailoring, but some dresses just take more effort to wear than others, so be on the look-out for effortless pieces. If you fall in love with a dress that’s fuss-budgety, but you just can’t give it up, consider a second/reception dress for when you definitely want to be care-free & comfy.

Consider what the fabric is made out of.

As a general philosophy, we think life is too short to worry about getting your dress dirty, BUT, if you do care about that sort of thing, make sure you get a dress that’s forgiving towards a little dirt & dust! Even if your wedding is all indoors, you can still safely bet on having a bit of grime on the hem of your dress at the end of the day. Sweat, dirt, and dust is inevitable, and your wedding dress will get dirty, no matter how pristine your venue or how meticulous you are. So it's good to adjust your expectations in advance, and choose wisely when it comes to the fabric of your dress to minimizing any mess appearing visible or noticeable! In general, lace is the least forgiving fabric (seriously, once lace even just thinks about getting dirty, it’s dirty.) and hardest to conceal dirt on, but if you have a dress that is majority lace, the dirt can often be hidden by the sheer amount of pattern on your dress that will draw the eye away from any dirty spots. On the opposite end of the spectrum: tulle. Now the downside of tulle is that everything and anything will get stuck in tulle (errant bees, sticks, pine needles, bottle caps, confetti, you name it) but the good news is that it pretty much all brushes right out with a little bit of patience, and it can tolerate quite a bit of dust and dirt before it really starts to look like it. For satin, silk, and tafetta dresses, they withstand dust & dry grass really well, but any mishaps with any wet material (lipstick, wine, beer, mud, wet grass, food) show pretty clearly and can be hard to distract from. Heavily embellished dresses (sequins, beading, glittery fabric) tend to hold up against dirt and wear really well, but the embellishments can be fragile and may you will need to make your peace with losing some beads, sequins, and other embellishments by the end of the day, especially around the hem of your dress.

Always look at the quality of construction.

There are some dead give-aways to a cheaply constructed dress, and for how much wedding dresses cost, it can be super important to understand what a quality dress looks like! A common one is having eye-hooks for the train instead of real buttons (those little eye hooks do NOT stand up to a full night of dancing or a day of adventuring in the mountains, you'll want to look for dresses with clear buttons or sturdier hooks!). Similarly, is the zipper closure well-hidden, or does it kind of pop out a bit, even when fully zipped? Does the lace lay flat against the skin, or does it pucker or stick out? Do the appliques (ie: the fancy bits sewn on top of the base fabric) bulge out from the fabric around it, or do they lay flat? Are the straps actually sturdy enough to support the weight of the dress on you when you move around, or does it feel like the weight of the dress is straining a flimsy strap? Sleeveless wedding dresses with thin, delicate straps can easily break under the strain of just very normal, throughout the day movements, so pay attention and see if the straps need to be reinforeced to feel truly sturdy. Do the underlayers of the skirt tend to ride up or bunch up in a way that feels uncomfortable or distracting?

These may sound like weird, obsessive things to care about (did I mention I’m a dress nerd??), but these kinds of issues show up in photos more than you’d think, and for as much money as wedding dresses cost, you should receive top quality construction always!

Most importantly: it’s ok to sleep on it.

Visiting bridal shops can feel stressful, and it can feel super, super awkward to walk out without a dress after spending so much time with the bridal shop attendants. I’d much rather spend money than make anybody think I was wasting their time, but from one easily-guilted shopper to another: nobody should pressure you into buying your wedding dress. I repeat, not the shop employees, or your mum or your best friend or your fiance. It sounds ridiculous to council grown people on their ability to choose their own clothing, but the truth is that a lot of people will have opinions on what really “suits you” or “looks like you” when it comes to your wedding dress, but the only opinion that really matters here is yours. It is 100% absolutely ok to sleep on the decision, or pass on a dress that everyone seems to love but you. If it doesn’t make you feel magical, it isn’t your dress.

Have fun, remember not to panic, and as a last little note: don’t feel pressured to be anyone’s version of a bride but yours!

-Laura
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