Phew! You made it here! You ready for our golden rule, our Number One Piece of Advice that we give to all couples planning a marriage celebration of whatever variety??? Ok, here goes:
- There are no rules.
- I repeat, there are no rules.
Do what you want! Seriously. If you’re waiting for someone to give you permission to plan the celebration you actually want, you have to give it to yourself! It’s your party, boo. (no, seriously though, it’s *your* party) There’s a wonderful variety of people and love in the world, and there are as many ways to celebrate your marriage as there are stars in the sky. You can do pretty much anything you want on your wedding day. Don’t let the magazines or your great aunt fool you, there’s actually no rules to planning a wedding, and any wedding vendor worth their salt will be ecstatic to help you achieve a celebration unique to your love. (we really love finding new ways to apply our skills, it’s super fun for us!)
If you are getting overwhelmed by the number of options, traditions, ideas, and opinions in the wedding world and constantly being thrown at you by Pinterest and your great aunt and your best friend who just got married last summer and magazines and your friggin hairstylist and god knows who else, here are some tips to surviving:
- Breathe. Take a few moments to shut off all the wedding noise in your life. I know, I know, it’s super tempting to take in as much information and ideas as possible because there’s so much to absorb! But that super fun, info-gathering, day-dreaming phase can quickly spiral into an informational overload and decision fatigue hellscape that leaves you super stressed and really confused. So, once you’ve done some day-dreaming and some inspiration perusing, shut it all off for a little while. A few hours, a few days, or take a whole week! Let the noise of everyone else’s wedding ideas die down and sit with what you really want for your wedding.
- Make A List Of What You Really Care About. I like to call these your wedding day priorities, sometimes I like to call this your wedding day vibe. It can be words, thoughts, moods, photos, dream boards, visual inspiration, whatever your medium is: have a vision for your wedding day that you and your partner can wholeheartedly commit to. That way, the inevitable distractions, last minute suggestions, and other people’s opinions don’t stress you out as much, because you already know where you’re headed & can field different ideas and decide whether they align with your vision of how *you* want your day to be!
- Don’t Judge Yourself (or your partner)! Do you really want that big troupe of 70 live alpacas for your reception? You live your life, boo. Do you really want to backpack into the wilderness of Alaska and elope on top of a glacier with no one else in sight? Go live that dream! Does your partner really want to serenade you in the middle of the reception and you feel like it’s cringey af but it’ll make their whole year? Let them!! If you still can’t decide on something after a couple of days, the best advice I have is: *don’t panic*, and don’t commit to anything out of panic. It’s okay, you have time, and you don’t need to make all the decisions right this minute.
- Examine What is Causing You Stress. For me, this usually means making some kind of list. Write down the traditions or wedding elements that you’re uncertain you want to include, the ones you’re stumped on, or the ones that are causing you stress. Talk about them with your partner. Figure out if you’re stressed by the entire process of planning a wedding, or maybe you’re just stressed about that stupid seating arrangement. Maybe you really want to elope, but the idea of tackling that one hard hike is giving you the cold sweats.
- Ask Quality Questions. Are these things making you happy? Are they worth the stress they are causing? Do you really want them, or are you just including them because you feel like you have to? Are they important to your partner? (if so, actually ask them “how important is this to you?) Does this thing make your wedding more joyful? Do you feel like you’d have more fun on your wedding day if you didn’t have to worry about this thing? In five years, will this thing matter? In ten years, will this thing matter?
Breathe some more. Be confident in your ability to pull this off, because you totally can. Be fearless in your pursuit of a wedding day that truly speaks to who you are together, because that’s the shit that lasts. Be gentle with yourself, because at the end of the day, it’s about love.